At long last... The Men’s Guide to what a woman really means when she says something.
Pay close attention (there might be a quiz later).
You want = You want
We need = I want
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure... go ahead = I don’t want you to.
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!
You’re ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You’re certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?
I’m not emotional! And I’m not overreacting! = I’m on my period.
Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really not going to like.
I’ll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you’re dead.]
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry.
Do you like this recipe? = It’s easy to fix, so you’d better get used to it.
Was that the baby? = Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I’m not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
All we’re going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we’re stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?
The answer to "What’s wrong?"
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Everything = My PMS is acting up
Nothing, really = It’s just that you’re such an asshole
I don’t want to talk about it = Go away, I’m still building up steam
(blue touch-paper has been lit.........retires to a safe distance before the ladies of the forum see this.)
It's not about being repressed, dude! It's about knowing that there's a game that's trying to be played and refusing to play it.
"I love you" means "I love you."
"Do you want to go out or would you rather stay in tonight?" means "Either one would be nice and I don't have a preference tonight."
"Does this shirt look okay?" means "I'd like your opinion as to whether this shirt looks okay."
"That outfit looks great on you." doesn't mean "All your other clothes don't look good on you and I've only been compelled to comment on this outfit because I knew that I'd catch hell from you if I told you what I thought of all your other clothes."
Up means up
Down means down
Happy means happy
Sad means sad
And that is that
Those who don’t build must burn. It’s as old as history and juvenile delinquents.
Ray Bradbury - Fahrenheit 451
At long last... The Men’s
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At long last... The Men’s Guide to what a woman really means when she says something.
Pay close attention (there might be a quiz later).
You want = You want
We need = I want
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure... go ahead = I don’t want you to.
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!
You’re ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You’re certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?
I’m not emotional! And I’m not overreacting! = I’m on my period.
Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really not going to like.
I’ll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you’re dead.]
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry.
Do you like this recipe? = It’s easy to fix, so you’d better get used to it.
Was that the baby? = Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I’m not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
All we’re going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we’re stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?
The answer to "What’s wrong?"
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Everything = My PMS is acting up
Nothing, really = It’s just that you’re such an asshole
I don’t want to talk about it = Go away, I’m still building up steam
(blue touch-paper has been lit.........retires to a safe distance before the ladies of the forum see this.)
Brilliant! Perfect! The
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Brilliant! Perfect! The ladies can't object because it's too spot-on. Well, maybe they will because it is.
Those who don’t build must burn. It’s as old as history and juvenile delinquents.
Ray Bradbury - Fahrenheit 451
John Very Accurate Just had
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John
Very Accurate
Just had to let you know before one of the women gets the Last Word.
Try the Pizza@Home project, good crunching.
Do you recon it will get
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Do you recon it will get moded out?
RE: Brilliant! Perfect! The
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Thanks for the support, guys!
I speak for all of repressed mankind.
(I am also one of the lucky, single & sane guys.....)
RE: Do you recon it will
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No, but being a big Clint fan I'll rephrase:
Sure... go ahead = Go ahead, make my day.
Do what you want = Do you feel lucky punk?
Maybe = Did he fire six shots, or did he fire five?
I’m not emotional! And I’m not overreacting! = Play Misty for me....
Cheers, Mike.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter ...
... and my other CPU is a Ryzen 5950X :-) Blaise Pascal
It's not about being
)
It's not about being repressed, dude! It's about knowing that there's a game that's trying to be played and refusing to play it.
"I love you" means "I love you."
"Do you want to go out or would you rather stay in tonight?" means "Either one would be nice and I don't have a preference tonight."
"Does this shirt look okay?" means "I'd like your opinion as to whether this shirt looks okay."
"That outfit looks great on you." doesn't mean "All your other clothes don't look good on you and I've only been compelled to comment on this outfit because I knew that I'd catch hell from you if I told you what I thought of all your other clothes."
Up means up
Down means down
Happy means happy
Sad means sad
And that is that
Those who don’t build must burn. It’s as old as history and juvenile delinquents.
Ray Bradbury - Fahrenheit 451
Oh, So someone was looking
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Oh, So someone was looking over your shoulder when you wrote that?
There is absolutely nothing
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There is absolutely nothing confusing about "woman speak".
Kathryn :o)
Einstein@Home Moderator
Right!!!!!
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Right!!!!!